I was recently reading an article in our local paper written by Mario Batali, a well-known chef and cookbook author. He was starting a weekly syndicated column with recipes designed to bring the family back around the dinner table. His concern was that we have abandoned family mealtime because of over-loaded calendars and hence, we have lost the art of conversation and relationship, which are the building, blocks of family life.
As I was reading his article, I couldn’t help but think how easily this could be applied to faith. We don’t need to look far to pull up statistics on the state of religious practice in this country. Belief in God and the desire for a relationship with Him, across all age groups but particularly among youth and young adults, is dismal at best. Another sad reality is the rise of pornography, drug and alcohol abuse, suicide, and violence, among other vices. People have given up God and are searching for happiness—but as statistics prove, folks aren’t doing a very good job of finding peace and contentment.
Pope John Paul II writes in Familiaris Consortio, his Apostolic Exhortation on the family, that the family is the “first and vital cell of society” (FC #42). Within the context of family we learn how to nurture, form, take care of the elderly, nurse the sick, and give and receive love, mercy, and forgiveness. All the elements required for a healthy society are learned within the context of the family. In today’s modern family, we can begin to see the heart of the problem with not only transforming our culture, but also enkindling an evangelizing spirit within our Church.
The divorce rate is over 50%. Many children never experience a parent’s unconditional love or witness how to have a loving relationship that survives the joys, conflicts, trials, and sufferings life throws at us. Commitment to an ideal is not witnessed. On top of that, many children do not have the experience of extended families or of tending to ailing family members, thus learning the reality of redemptive suffering and consolation.
This brings me back to Mario’s article. In our desire to have the brightest, most athletic, well rounded, talented, (keep adding the adjectives) children, we have diminished or even eradicated the idea that spending time together as a family around the table is important. Taking this to the next level, what we have done is said that things are more important than people and relationships. It is not a big leap to conclude we are sending a message to our children, through our actions, that a soccer game (or any other exterior activity) is more important the spending personal time-sharing as a family, growing in relationship with each other.
When relationships with those around us, especially those between parents and children, are devalued, why are we surprised that religion or faith, whose foundation is a relationship with God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, is considered a burden? If we cannot set aside time to be with our family in a meaningful way, how can we possibly think we would place an importance on having a personal relationship with Christ?
Don't get me wrong--we need to give our children experiences and support them in their endeavors. However, standing on the sidelines cheering your child at a game cannot take the place of sitting down with your child and having a meaningful conversation. The health of our families depends on this. Sharing our story of how Christ has transformed our life with our family is equally important. Our Church and world depend on this!
The most important thing we can do for our children is to show, through example, how to have an loving relationship with Christ and those around us. When we do, we will give them the tools to transform society. Nowhere in the Bible does it indicate that how many goals we scored, medals won, or scholarships are awarded will matter if we did not first place God at the center of our lives!
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